Waiters, Sex, Lies and Coffee – Part 2

May 2010

I didn’t want to scare our poor little darling waiters by going way over the top for our experiment, so I kept it toned down somewhat. But I did use some feminine wiles in the form of some breast padding/lifters, body shaping underwear and went a bit over-the-top (well at least for me) with the make-up. I had a friend of mine, who happens to be a professional make-up artist and dresser for a local modeling agency, give me some professional “assistance” with the goal being not to hide my natural age but instead amplify what was already present. The clothing that was chosen did initially make me feel slightly uncomfortable but it was certainly nowhere near as scant as the “young-ins” that we are experimenting against.

So here I was, “dolled” up to the nines – feeling a little bit apprehensive and self-conscience but willing to go through with the experiment if for no other reason than to learn the outcome for myself. I called my friend and we left for our target coffee/lunch bar. Her clothing and makeup was in stark contrast to my own and this is how we planned it. She even commented to me how uncomfortable she would feel wearing what I was.

As we all know, first impressions are important and tend to show the givers true feelings before social conditioning and learnt behavior has a chance to interfere. So I was determined to pay careful attention to the response I received compared to my friend as soon as we entered the establishment. And luckily for me, I was not to be disappointed. In complete reversal to the day before, as soon as we entered the coffee/lunch bar and the first waiter looked up to see who was coming in the door between mobile texts, he immediately leapt up from his seat, put the mobile in his pocket and proceeded at what could only be described as an accelerated walking pace towards us. Upon arriving, obviously quickly enough so as to get the “jump” on his fellow waiter, I was asked if we were dining in for lunch or simply for a coffee. My girlfriend was so stunned at the change of service and obviously annoyed at how immediate and concentrated the waiters attentions were towards me, she started a sentence with a bit of a pause only to be interrupted immediately with the question re-directed back to myself. To hurry things along I replied “just a coffee thanks” and we were then immediately directed to a table and seated. Just as soon as we were seated the offer of what coffee we would like was again directed towards myself explicitly. Keen to see how far I could take this and wanting to get the initial procedures over-with I gave our “friendly” waiter our coffee requirements and with what could only be described as a spring in his step he quickly left to place our order. My friend looked at me rather stunned and shocked at the complete turn-around in service. She was convinced we were getting even more service than the “blondies” the day before. Not being convinced of that just yet. Perhaps they were so use to this level of attention they only “use” it when required or it would seem interesting. I hatched a few ideas to see just how far I could push this to prove to both myself and my friend that the attention improvement was more about “presentation” than age.

Perusing the coffee menu I hunted for the most expensive coffee available. The waiter arrived not long after we had ordered with the exact coffee requested…..which in itself is quite a feat! Unsurprisingly my coffee was accompanied by two small biscuits while my friends was not. Strike one point for perception.

I waited a few minutes and then took a sip of my coffee. My friend had already taken many more before I did as we were engaged in conversation related solely to how the experiment was currently going. She was still amazed at the change and was also interested in seeing just how far we could take it – within reason of course ;)  As I put my coffee down from my first sip I made a face resembling a hockey player after getting struck with an opponents stick on the somewhat soft and dangly male pieces located between the legs. Next was to see if my now “personal” waiter was watching and if so what would the reaction be. True to himself, as soon as the look on my face from the coffee was noticed he was over in a flash asking if there was a problem. The bait was taken so now was the right time to start reeling in. Of course my reply was “sorry no, its not. I really don’t think I can drink it”. Of course said with the most innocent and seductive look on my face I could muster up. The moment of truth had arrived. Would my winding of the reel pull myself in a nice free new coffee? More expensive that the one I ordered? My suitor replied, “Im so sorry to hear that. May I get you another one?”. There it was, the catch was almost snagged. All that was left was to drag it into the boat. My reply was “Why yes, that would be great. How about this one?” as I pointed at the coffee which was near twice the price of my original one. “No problem, I’ll order you one now.”. Meer moments past before my new coffee arrived. It was done. My friend just looked on in awe. I must admit that I even surprised myself. I was almost sure that I was pushing the seductive abilities of someone my age. But I guess the packaging definitely does go a long way to turning the tide.

For those wondering if I was perhaps asked to pay the extra for the coffee as I left, I can assure you this did not happen. To make sure I even offered as we left to pay the difference. But it was refused. And we even got a “hope to see you again soon” as we left. The sad thing really is that my now much more attentive suitor probably won’t even recognize me when we do return another day.

While this is certainly not the most scientific experiment nor could the results be considered conclusive in anyway. From the involved participants point of view though, it was rather convincing. Enough so that should I ever break down on the side of the road or require some male assistance. Without going to extremes it seems reasonably clear to this women at least that a little bit of packaging adjustment and some appropriately managed facial and posture expressions will go a long way in getting at least some attention. Whether that attention will be positive or negative is dependant upon the chosen target and the rest is in the lap of the gods.

‘Till the next chronicle installment … blog on folks!